You are not alone.
It's hard to talk about what goes on behind the walls of your home. You don't want to embarrass your child. You don't want people to be afraid of your child. It's really hard to explain. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows the pain of the streaks on your face, the ones made with fingernails and the ones made from tears. Someone knows the pain in the bruises you couldn't cover up. Someone knows you feel like you just ran a marathon. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows you are expected to hold it together for all the other people in your home. How can you be a good spouse or a good parent to all of your children in the midst of agony and defeat? Sometimes you aren't. That's ok. But most of the time you need to be, and it's really, really hard. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows you have to walk out of your house with a brave face and do all the things that life requires; school pick up, sporting events, dinner with friends, a job, walk the dog and so on. Sometimes you do all of this without crumbling, and sometimes little pieces of you fall away with each thing you have to do. Sometimes, you just sit on your couch. That's ok. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows you just apologized for what feels like the millionth time. You apologized for your child's behavior, for missing a meeting, for being rude or forgetting something. Most of the time people are forgiving, but sometimes they are not. You don't want pity. You just need a good dose of empathy and a lot of understanding. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows you live in isolation. Sometimes it's physical. It's not safe for you or your child to go out in public. Sometimes it's emotional. No one understands this life. Sometimes it's mental. One scroll through social media and you realize everything your child is missing out on and everything you aren't experiencing as a parent. You are not alone. Somewhere, someone knows that despite everything, you can and you will put one foot in front of the other. You will trudge through the despair. No parent was made to do this. You do it because you have to. You do it because your child is worthy and love leaves you no other option. You are not alone. We will keep climbing together and hold each other up.
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Charming, quirky and incredibly loving. Will loves his friends, swimming, the iPad, the Avett Brothers, observing the world upside down, climbing, jumping and being chased.
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October 2017
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