Note: I apologize for the enormous gap in posts, but Baby Markum #2 has kept me flat on my back. The first 17 weeks of my pregnancy were rough, but I have since regained my energy and have spent the last couple of months trying to get life back on track. So here I am, a little more put together and ready to continue sharing our journey with you!
I have been thinking a lot lately about the day I will have "the talk" with Will. Not the talk you are all thinking about. I am relieved Matt will take on the bulk of that responsibility with our boys. No, I'm talking about the day Will asks me about his autism. As Will continues to progress in his therapy, it has become clear to me that one day he will be aware enough that he struggles with things other children do not. If he continues with therapy, he will eventually find out that not all kids go to therapy. He may be made aware one day of his challenges because he is teased at school. I don't know how it will happen, but it will and we will have to talk about it. Honestly, I have no idea at this point what I will say. I'm grateful I have some time to think about and pray over my words. My hope is that I am able to communicate to him that all children, all people for that matter, struggle with something. None of us are perfect beings. Although we all face daily challenges and struggles, we also all have strengths. We all bring something to the table and those things should be celebrated. So much of this world is filled with judgement and categorizing people by what they can't do. I want my son to recognize himself and others for what they can do. I want Will to know that from the very beginning of his life, he has worked extremely hard to overcome his challenges. That his perseverance is like nothing I have ever experienced and something he should be proud of. I want Will to know that even though his challenges have a label, every child struggles with something. Just as he has helpers in his life, I want him to be a helper for others. As parents, I think it's important that we discuss respect and love at length as it applies to ALL people. I'll admit that before I was a mother to a special needs child, I did not think this way. Of course I planned to teach my children to respect others and be kind, but I never planned to be so specific about the topic from an early age. I planned to have conversations as situations warranted it. I now realize the importance of educating my children now about how to appreciate the differences in other people, how to ask questions when they do not understand another person's behavior and most importantly to ALWAYS acknowledge and show interest in ALL of the people around you. The last one can be hard because difference makes us uncomfortable. It is easier and frankly less time consuming to avoid those who seem different from us. My hope after "the talk" is that Will sees himself as any other kid who will face challenges throughout his life but those challenges cannot stop him from being a light and a leader in this world.
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Charming, quirky and incredibly loving. Will loves his friends, swimming, the iPad, the Avett Brothers, observing the world upside down, climbing, jumping and being chased.
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October 2017
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