In November of 2013, Matt and I found out we would be welcoming another little boy into our family. We were thrilled at the thought of raising another boy but knew the ultrasound tech just as easily could have followed the news with "may the odds be ever in your favor." The fact is 1 in 42 boys have autism and children with an autistic sibling are at higher risk for the disorder (studies show anywhere from 7-18%). At a recent appointment, I wanted reassurance from Will's developmental pediatrician that we could rest a little easier knowing Andrew is following a typical pattern of development. I knew the answer but asked anyway if it was still a possibility that Andrew could lose all of the skills he has gained. Her answer, "Yes. It's terrifying, I know." This sounds like a harsh answer, but it's the truth as the glaring symptoms do not usually appear until 18-24 months.
We are prepared either way, and the outcome will be the same no matter which path he takes. That outcome is that we will love Andrew to the fullest and give him the best life we can. For now all we can do is watch and wait and love. If life should take Andrew down the typical path though, this is what I want my baby boy to know. To my littlest bubba, You are a gentle little soul. Your big, beautiful blue eyes draw people in, and you are happy to indulge the attention. Your approach to life is slow and methodical and patient. You are a gift. At just 15 months old, you are already learning that the definition of "normal" is fluid. Your normal will look different from many of your friends' normal. You will greet your brother's therapists like family and spend many hours in therapy centers and doctor's offices. I will always do my best to make these hours count with you. You will learn there are communities of people in this world that are underserved and misunderstood. I will always do my best to foster compassion and empathy in your sweet soul and pray that God fill your heart with love for those the world considers the least of these. You will have many days where you feel your life is unfair, that attention is not equal in this family. I will always do my best to meet your needs. There will be many days that this is true, and it is okay to feel this way. I hope that you always come to me when you feel your world is turned upside down so we can walk through it together. You will have the opportunity on more than one occasion to show great courage and stand up to those who are afraid of difference. I will do my best to guide you in the role of protector and be there to comfort you when opportunities pass you by. I am so hopeful that you will always remain the little brother but if by circumstance you one day must assume the role of older brother, protector and caregiver, I pray that your heart has been prepared. Always remember that the same God that breathed you into existence also gave your brother life. You and your brother will always share the same name, the same blood, the same big, floppy ears and most importantly, a Heavenly Father that loves you. No one can ever take that away from the two of you. My baby boy, you are a gift. You were not born for your brother, no, you have your own purpose. But you are most certainly a gift to him. You are loved and cherished always.
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Charming, quirky and incredibly loving. Will loves his friends, swimming, the iPad, the Avett Brothers, observing the world upside down, climbing, jumping and being chased.
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October 2017
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