Thanksgiving break 2018 has not been ideal, starting with a stomach bug for Will and ending in shingles for me. We are no strangers to adversity and have learned to take these bumps in the road in stride, but it was still hard to see Will so sick, and it was hard to send my boys off to my in-laws this morning while I stay home and rest.
Being home alone this morning has given me time to reflect on so many things I'm grateful for this year. I am grateful that Will is happy and healthy. Will's aggression has now reduced to almost nothing, he sleeps until a decent time, he continues to eat a variety of food (current favorites are pizza and quesadillas!), he is snuggly and loving, he is processing information at a much faster speed which cuts down on frustration, he is focusing better at school, and is generally a happy kid. I could not ask for more than a happy and healthy kid after so many years of the opposite. I am grateful for an exceptional teacher that teaches to all of her students' potential, and my sweet son's work ethic. Will is mastering targets at such a rapid rate in school that his teacher can barely keep up. After the break, his academic inclusion time will increase along with his goals. Will still requires a smaller teaching environment, but the academic gap is closing. I am grateful for supportive parents, friends and a patient and loving husband. I have been seeing a therapist to help talk through some of the more difficult moments of life but also to explore my doctor's concern that I have PTSD. My therapist recently told me that while I do have symptoms of PTSD, I do not meet all of the criteria for a diagnoses. She followed that with the fact that everything that happened to me should have led me down that road, but my own strength and my community of support saved me. My own strength though is not necessarily my own. My parents taught me to find it somewhere in me to keep putting one foot in front of the other, that dwelling in the enormity of your struggles is not the answer and that when your circumstances can't change, your attitude toward them certainly can. My parents answered my every cry for help on the days I would wake up sobbing that I just couldn't be with my kids alone that day. They were my calvary. Matt has taken every lashing when I've been unnecessarily angry, gets up with the kids in the middle of the night and early in the morning so I can sleep, forgoes free time so I can have it, loves us unconditionally and works hard so we are comfortable. Our friends accept us for who we are, don't punish us for canceling last minute, show interest in what life with autism is like and NEVER judge us. All of you, along with my faith and hope in Jesus Christ, saved me. (Please note that I understand not all mental struggles can be remedied by "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps," and I certainly don't mean to diminish those who need more to cope. We all cope differently and have different tools to do so. Each and everyone one of those tools is valid.) There is much to celebrate on this day of Thanksgiving. Life is rarely easy, but I'm thankful for the team of people who circle around us and lift us up. And, I'm thankful for the three turkeys in my home who keep life interesting and light each day so brightly, the sun barely has room to shine.
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Charming, quirky and incredibly loving. Will loves his friends, swimming, the iPad, the Avett Brothers, observing the world upside down, climbing, jumping and being chased.
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